Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
