he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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