remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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