apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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