She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
