Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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