My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
so much tequila, so little girl.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Randomize
