I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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