My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize