did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
