my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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