hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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