I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
