Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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