break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
