i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
