if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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