I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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