hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Can I color on your dick again?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
