Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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