Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
