don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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