R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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