Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
