So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
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btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
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We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
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