Dual....:-)
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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