Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
