Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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