If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
