i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
