I wish I only lived at night.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
