im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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