I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
