smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize