is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
