Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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