I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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