oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.