im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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