It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...