3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
my being single is dangerous.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat