Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
