How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
