I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize