WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You made out with two different species that night
40s are totally the cure
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
