just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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