When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
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Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
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Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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