You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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