Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
