just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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