Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Hippo gnu deer
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I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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