ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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