I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
