I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
