So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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