I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
