We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
