then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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