Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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