Got a toothbrush?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
